Sunday Scripture {simplify}

(photo I took in my parent's backyard, 1/10)
 

" 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ' ”

Matthew 11:28-30

Changes

My living room is beginning to fill up with boxes, representative of the "what ifs" finding their way into my mind. In just a couple weeks we are leaving our home of the past almost 8 years. Not because we sold it and have to move. Not because we are being forced out or can't afford it. No, we don't fit the norm in this area either. We are leaving with an unpaid mortgage. And we hate that. We have struggled with it, and talked to many "advisers", but we both feel in our hearts that it is time to surrender, and move on. To step out in faith and take the next step.

It is our first home. I am definitely fine with moving out of our neighborhood, which is why we are leaving. It has become more and more unsafe over the years, to the point that dh doesn't even walk the dog anymore. We are prisoners in our own home.

This house, this city, our "imprisonment" (due to such an upside down mortgage) have been very big tools that God has used in my life (and dh's) to teach so many lessons, which make for future blog posts. And for that I am so thankful. But it's also the home that we now know, for certain, we will never have little feet walking around in. It was not meant to happen here. Something we didn't know 8 years ago when we moved in. So with moving, there are some twinges of sadness that accompany it.

We have seen the comfort of God's hand in this new chapter as it begins unfolding. From a "random" phone call dh received one morning from someone we go to church with wondering if we, out of all people, wanted to rent his family's house because he thought we rented ours (which dh originally turned down even investigating the offer due to the fact that we own ours), to the timing of this possibility even coming about (a home invasion had just happened on our block where the homeowner was robbed and seriously injured - just one of the regular occurrences of crime around here anymore). I had just prayed that morning that God would provide an opportunity for us to be able to move.

So, are we excited? Yes. Nervous? Yes. Wanting to get the paperwork and legal "stuff" out of the way super fast? Most definitely! So please pray for us if you think of it. This "move" doesn't end when the last box is unloaded. It will likely be months, but we are praying that it's not and that this process is over quickly.

(A double rainbow over our house this Spring.)

Ice cream

Kind of a random post, but I am an ice cream fanatic and love trying new flavors :) This summer there have been so many new ones to try! Below are my 2 favorite new ones as of now (which also happen to be very close to a couple of DQ Blizzards I love, but at a much lower cost considering you get more than one sitting out of a carton). And although it would be nice, I am not receiving an advertising fee for this post. These are just some simple joys I have found this season:

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(Bryer's Cookies & Cream Mint)


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(Stroh's Blueberry Cream Pie)

Eagles

Today as I was sitting in my Jeep after I got out of work, I was enjoying the sunshine and comfortable temperatures, eating some cool watermelon that was leftover from my lunch, and just generally basking in my freedom. It's the simple things that I find myself gravitating towards and appreciating so much more in the past few years as I alluded to when I began my Joy Journal page (I know, I know, it needs to be updated).

Anyways, where I park my vehicle in the lot most days (my unofficial parking spot as we all seem to have), I have a surprisingly good view for birdwatching, even though I don't work in the middle of a forest, there are many younger trees planted in our newish business park and birds that have decided to make their homes there. So, I love watching them when I am sitting outside on my break or after work when I'm not rushing off somewhere. They peck at the ground or chase bugs. They swoop low to the ground and back up in the air, or just hop along. I have found lately that it's amazing when you take a moment to slow down and observe the world around you, what you'll see.

But today there was a very large bird, probably just a big hawk, but it was so beautiful as it had outstretched wings and glided high above the buildings, the dark blue sky and sunshine as a picture perfect backdrop. I watched the large bird for several minutes as it flew in a circle, once in a while flapping its wings and then gliding again. Sometimes I think it would be so cool to be a bird and just fly away (Psalm 55:6), high above the cares and worries of this world. To just glide though the air enjoying the breeze, what a thrill that would be! The beauty of the moment brought a few tears to my eyes and I was reminded of how God used the Eagle as a metaphor in Isaiah 40:31:

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

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So, until I can truly fly through the heavens, I will cling to that verse and thank God for the beautiful reminders of his love that he places in my path daily.

Sunday Scripture {Never Forget}

I came across a tidbit this week that references the above verse and it really spoke to me, and continues to speak to me, the more I meditate on it.

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Linking up with Diedra's Sunday Community today:

Food, Faith & (in)Fertility.....and Friday!

{food}

Thanks to my sister (who does this on the grill though), dh and I are now in love with Spinach, Basil, & Mozzarella Pizza...mmmmm! And it is super fast!

All you need per pizza is:

Olive Oil

One can of refrigerated pizza dough

Mozzarella (she used fresh, I used shredded)

1/2 bag(?) of spinach, chopped

Small bunch of basil, chopped

A sprinkling of Sea Salt

A sprinkling of Garlic Powder

(she used Garlic Salt in place of this and the Sea Salt)

Just roll the dough out slightly then get some olive oil on both sides. I stretched mine out and worked with it a bit then folded it over and stretched it a little more. I got it to not quite fill up a cookie sheet. Then spread some sauce and the cheese and the rest of the ingredients. Popped it in the oven at 375 degrees F for I think around 9 or 10 minutes(?). It was wonderful!

I would love to cook it again soon but with the sweltering heat, a non-working outdoor grill, and no air conditioning, it's going to be a little while.


{faith} &/or {(in)Fertility}

I absolutely loved this blog post that I read on the 4th. And how "ironic" that I had just looked out the window at some fireflies flickering with fireworks in the distance:

You Light Up This World




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Happy Friday! I hope everyone has a relaxing (and cool!) weekend :-)

Leadership

Leadership is something that has been on my heart for the last week or so.

A couple weeks ago I sat in a group of women at a Prayer & Dessert Fellowship at church as the only non-mom. The majority were around my age and had anywhere from 1-4 children. Then we had a few older moms who had already been at the stage my peers were going through.

As the women talked, I fought back tears. I couldn't have been more self-conscious or felt that I stood out more. When it came time to go around the circle and introduce ourselves I felt such dread. They are all in the threshold of child rearing full-time and I am in my new phase of life, back to working in an office full-time with no plans on the table for growing our family right now- "just living life" as I always say to people while I feel my heart get pricked.

So I shared about my current phase of life and how long my husband and I have been married (because I feel like that is an accomplishment!), and felt like a total odd-ball. Prayer request time was much the same. But I thought it was time to throw in, as if it wasn't obvious by that point in the evening (although the talk was so entrenched in motherhood and child rearing that they may not have even noticed?), that dh and I are Infertile. I hate that word. When it rolls off my tongue it feels foreign although it is the life we now know. The word that crushed our dreams. But I shared how I am currently on a "joy journey" and seeking God's will for my life as an individual, as dh is as well. And some things I am getting involved with in church, when one of the older women there prompted me to share.

What I didn't tell you yet is that I organized this evening and the ones that will follow once a month this summer. And to be honest, I am still not sure I am going to attend the next one. I am currently praying about that and working through how I feel. But I couldn't have been more encouraged when I shared this experience with my friend and women's ministry leader over lunch a few days later, and she told me with certainty that, "That is God preparing you for leadership." Wait. What?!  It seemed odd at first, but then it makes more sense as I talk to dh about it and read articles on leadership in the Church and throughout the bible. It's scary, but yet refreshing to think that God often times takes those individuals who are "different" than the rest, to refine them and set them apart in order to rise to a position of leadership.

Throughout the evening and as I left, I felt God's presence with me. In spite of my pain, I felt blessed that as a result of God laying such an event on my heart to organize, He was moving. Not exactly how I had planned, but how He did. I know that many of the women (a.k.a. moms) were blessed by this evening out and receiving encouragement from others through the openness and sharing that took place. I am thankful for that. I just am not sure that these gatherings are going to be a "healthy" place for me personally.

I am still figuring this concept of "leadership" out and most certainly will be, one step at a time for the rest of my life, but I just wanted to share a different perspective that maybe one of you haven't considered in your journey through struggles and pain. Something that was shared with me that shed some new light on my path.

Food, Faith & (in)Fertility....and Friday

TGIF! I am back to working full-time again after being part-time with some full-time weeks mixed in over the past few years. I am working for a "temp" agency or "employment" agency, and still under contract at the same place I've been for almost a year! I guess they keep people for years under contract before hiring them permanently. But I feel like I've started a new job because I am learning a ton more stuff, getting a little overwhelmed, and definitely tired out. So, definitely thankful for the weekend!

As for this weeks installment of my new Friday series:

{food}

I made this for a church potluck on Sunday and really liked it. Also super easy:
Beef and Black Bean Taco Bake (I used 8-Whole Wheat Tortillas, 16 oz. jar of reg. Medium Salsa, & added approx. 3/4 c. of reduced fat Sour Cream because it needed more "liquid"). Super yummy and easy!

Made for Girl's Nite:
Homemade Guacamole
(no link since it was a recipe I got a looong time ago from someone)

3-4 ripe avocados chopped (ripe avocados give a little when you press against them).
2-3 small diced fresh tomatoes
3 cloves minced garlic
1 small diced red onion
1 handful of freshly chopped cilantro
2-3 diced jalapenos (depending on how spicy you like it)
2 T Sour cream (optional, it makes it more creamy)...I just did this for the 1st time and loved it.1 lime (squeezed for juice)...I used lime juice in a bottle and just add and taste until it's good :)1 T Salt...I don't add this much.
Mix together (you can "smash" it or just gently mix- whatever your preference). Refrigerate. If making ahead, put plastic wrap over the guacamole (press it down until it touches the guac.), if not it will turn brown.

{faith}

I have had this desktop wallpaper on my computer at work this week. It is one of my favorite verses and very fitting for Mother's Day weekend:

You can click on the picture to go to the source and choose what size fits your screen.

{(in)Fertility}

I read this post this week, and wow. I have been following this blog for some time, and really enjoy reading her posts and her perspective (as a fellow IF'er) on a variety of topics. This post is another one for both the Infertile and those who love us. I don't know if I have ever heard the feeling of what it's like to have an empty womb, and empty arms, put so perfectly.

The Parable of the Silver Locket {A Mother's Day Post}


Happy Friday :)

Butterfly Days

I love butterflies. To me they symbolize so many things.

Second chances.
New life.
Hope.

They are such beautiful creatures with intricate designs. God's handiwork.

Given that I love butterflies so much, when I read Karen Kinsbury's book "Oceans Apart"  a while back, I fell in love with the scene in the book where a little boy names Max is sitting with his (unknown to him at the time) father, and they are fishing. Max has lost his mother in a tragic accident and is coming to terms with his loss as best a young child can when faced with such tragedy. A butterfly lands on his fishing pole and he shares with Mr. Evans (his father) the special meaning that butterflies had to him and his mom. They would often have "butterfly days" where he and his mom would sit and watch butterflies:

"She said that they prove that God gives second chances"

"Butterflies prove that?"

"Yeah, because a butterfly spends all those days as a callipillar, scooting on the ground. Did you know that?"

"I did." Mr. Evans eyes were serious. Max figured it was because he liked this story.

"Then one day"- Max stared at the butterfly- "one day he gets tired of scooting around, so he builds a little room and takes a nap there." Max made his voice quiet again because sometimes it would get loud when he told a good story. And the story of his special butterfly days was a very good one. "But know what the bestest part is, Mr. Evans?"

"What?" His face was closer now, because they both had shushed their words so the butterfly wouldn't leave.

"One day the callipillar wakes up and God has done an amazing thing. The callipillar shakes his shoulders a little, and what do you know? There's something on his back!" Max shook his back a very little to show Mr. Evans what he meant. The butterfly gave a big flap of his wings, but still he stayed on the fishing pole. "That thing is wings, Mr. Evans. And now the callipillar doesn't have to scoot around on the ground because-"

"Because he can fly." A smile came on Mr. Evans face. "And that's his second chance, right?"

"Yes." He blinked so he could see the butterfly better. "She said that one day soon we'd be together again and we'd never scoot around on the ground. Instead we would fly. Forever and ever we would fly."

I have had a couple "butterfly days" this week (my Joy Journal updated....check!). A flowering Crabapple tree at my work is home to a host of Red Admirals (and Bumble Bees!) right now, and I have seen many around our yard as well (but those ones seem to be faster fliers so no pics yet!). I also saw a Swallowtail butterfly on our house today, but that too alluded me just as I was about to snap a picture!! It was a beautiful day though as I just watched the butterflies and birds and thought how awesome is God to create such living things for our enjoyment!

I also read today that a warm winter like we had means more butterflies. Finally a silver-lining to not getting any snow (barely)!

New Blog Pages Added!

I just wanted to point out that I have added a few new pages to my blog (you will see the tabs across the top, under the blog title):

• The "Story of Us" - a page to give those who read my blog a glimpse of who I am.
• Joy Journal - a new page that I will add pictures to periodically of things that bring me joy.
• Recipes - a new page where I will put the links to the recipes I post, which I plan to start doing more of again.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Hey!

Wow...I only posted here once last month, but not for lack of going ons, that's for sure! Thought about posting all the time. Put it on my to-do list multiple times, just never made it happen. But I'm back, and lots going on in my head and heart right now.

Tomorrow is my birthday which will include an update on my self-imposed 20x30 challenge.

But for now, here is one of my current favorite songs. I heard it while driving this afternoon and the Holy Spirit really ministered to me through it. It goes right along with my current journey to seek joy no matter what is going on around me/with me.