I'm Still Here...

I've had several posts swirling around in my head and plan to flesh them out in the near future (food, faith, infertility, take your pick!). Stay tuned :)

8 years ago today...

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."
Song of Solomon 8:7



...I married a man with whom, I didn't know on that day, but in the days and years that would shortly follow I would face the biggest, most unexpected, things I've ever had to face in my life. I am so grateful for him, and for the love he gives me. His unconditional, Christ-like love, and the gift of marriage that we have been given. Because of God's love and grace we are able to celebrate today!

Happy Anniversary babe!

Being Well

Sometimes you read a book that you can't stop shaking your head in agreement with. Right now I am reading that book. It is called "Being Well When We're Ill: Wholeness and Hope in Spite of Infirmity" by Marva J. Dawn. I feel like I am sitting down with a friend over coffee, shaking my head in agreement because I can relate to so much of what she is saying. It is a non-fiction book written by a woman who is dealing with many chronic ailments and sorting through what that means in the spiritual realm of things. So many parallels can be made between chronic illnesses and infertility. So many. The questioning; the isolation (whether on purpose or not); the questioning some more; the dealing with doctors and insurance companies (or lack of coverage); the depression; working through acceptance. Just to name a few. A main theme woven throughout the 12 out of 21 chapters I have read so far is Loss. Losses that can't be recovered. (Early on in the book she even makes mention of the loss of the dream of parenthood for her and her husband.)

Lately, the chapters I have read are so timely. The one was about loneliness and the other about worry. I like how the author goes through so many different areas of our lives and how they are effected by what we are going through. It is a very thorough depiction of losing something, and coming to terms with that something, that you have no control over happening in the first place.

When I finish this book I want to do a more detailed review here, but for now I just wanted to share a little about it in case anyone else wanted to check it out.

The Voices of Infertility

I stumbled across this tonight and wanted to share. These women tell the story so well. No matter how the story begins or ends though, the feelings in between and throughout are the same...

If you have a few minutes, it's worth a listen:

Patient Voices: Infertility

Peanut Butter Icebox Pie (2 ways)

So with our new healthy eating goals and dh's birthday this week, I didn't want him to get jipped out of a yummy birthday treat...and of course I love my sweets :-)- So when he requested Peanut Butter Pie I did some hunting online for a healthier version than the one I have made for probably 5 out of 8 of his birthdays we have celebrated since we got married. So I found a diabetic version that sounded like it would work and I tweaked it slightly.

This is what I came up with and we (and everyone we passed out the leftovers to) liked!

Ingredients:

Crust

(1) 9 oz. package of Chocolate Graham Animal Crackers (I bought the store brand)
1/4 C of Best Life Buttery Spread (or other healthy butter/margarine)

"Pie"

(2) 1 oz. packages of Sugar-Free Vanilla Pudding & Pie Filling Mix
2 1/2 C Milk (I used 2%)
1/2 C Lite Whipped Topping
~1 C Natural Peanut Butter- Smooth (I started with 1/2 cup and thought it needed more. I probably added at least 1/2 cup more.)

Also, 16 Cupcake Paper Liners

Directions:

For crumb crust:
1. Crush about 3/4 of the box of Animal Crackers. (When I make it again I will measure exactly how much, but I was in a bit of a hurry.)
2. Melt butter in a covered bowl in microwave.
3. Place crumbs in bowl and mix with spoon. It will be a "dry" mix.
4. In cupcake pans, place 16 of the paper liners.
5. Spoon about 1 T of the crumb mixture (reserving about 1/2 c.) into each liner and press down, packing it together. I used a measuring cup that fit perfectly. You could also use the bottom of a drinking glass.



For "Pie":
1. Mix together both boxes of Vanilla Pudding Mix and Milk with an electric mixer on low, then med. speed. It will turn pretty thick. At this point you can stop mixing.
2. Add Peanut Butter and mix until smooth.
3. Add Whipped Topping and mix for approximately 1-2 minutes.
4. Spoon even amount into each of the cups.
5. Use the remaining crumb crust to sprinkle on top of each dessert.
6. Place pan in the freezer. I left them in for several hours until we ate them frozen. But they probably wouldn't even need to be in there an hour. They are like a yummy ice cream bar :-)- You can also set them in the fridge if you don't want them to be as hard.



Version #2 of Peanut Butter Pie (from this book- omitting directions/ingredients for the chocolate sauce as is in book)

Ingredients:
2 C Heavy Cream
3/4 C plus 2 T Confectioners Sugar
2 t Pure Vanilla (I use Imitation Vanilla Extract)
1 C Smooth Peanut Butter
1 Prepared Crumb Crust (I have always used a pre-made chocolate cookie crust, but you could also make your own the same way I did above)


Directions:
1. Combine cream, the sugar, and vanilla in a large mixing bowl and using an electric mixer, beat until stiff peaks form (I always found it to be about 10 minutes, just to give a heads up!)
2. Place the PB in a med. size mixing bowl and stir in 1/4 of the whipped cream (that you made in step 1). Gently fold the lightened PB mixture back into remaining whipped cream. Scrape the filling into prepared pie shell, smooth top w/rubber spatula, and refrigerate the pie until the filling is firm, about 3 hours.

(Ideas for serving: top with store bought chocolate syrup and crushed peanuts.)

20x30 Update

It's been a busy few weeks of cooking up new things (and old), changing our eating habits, celebrating birthdays, starting/planning projects, and the list goes on...

~As far as my 20x30 goes, I'm a quarter of the way there! I put a tracker in the side-bar of my blog. It helps so much that hubby is doing this with me! For now we are eating as low-carb as possible/some good carbs (brown rice, oatmeal, granola). Mainly it means: no crackers, Cheez-Its, icecream, sweets (only a tiny amount on special occasions), bread (again, I have only had bread products a few select times), pasta... We are eating a TON of veggies and fruit. Lean protein. Low or No-Fat. Healthy fats. Low-sodium. Diet pop or other beverages only. More water.

We were on a plan that was too strict at the beginning and we were very low on energy and getting headaches. So we have lightened up a bit, and have allowed some exceptions. Overall, I want to get to 1/2 my WL (weight loss) goal before I begin adding more carbs in. I am a recovering carb-addict so I feel like I need to put a safe distance between myself and as many carbs as possible right now in order to get these extra pounds off.

~As far as my time in the kitchen goes, I have been trying some new things and having fun experimenting. I have had some flops lately though...
My first try at Cauliflower "Mashed Potatoes" was so bad we had to throw it all out :( Definitely not trying the recipe I used again. In fact, the lesson I have learned with both this dish and the freezer pickles I tried making last week, is go with your gut instinct! Does it seem like too much garlic? It probably is. Too much salt? It probably is (besides getting distracted and forgetting a step!). And I HATE wasting food! But I tried to save the pickles and ended up freezing them anyways. I will probably use them chopped up as part of tuna salad or something similar. Take #2 on the pickle making will take place shortly as my big cukes have decided they are going to start producing like crazy!



So...I plan to post some more recipes in the coming days as I have gotten a few requests and I also want to remember the good things I concocted, not just the bad :)