Hebrews 12:2-3

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (Hebrews 12:2-3, The Message)


(I came across this verse in a blog post that can be found here. It is just what I needed to hear this morning.)

Pictures

There are 2 pictures on my nightstand of a little boy with red hair. In the first one he is probably just over a year, the other maybe 2nd grade. I love to stare at those precious little pictures from time to time and wonder if his own little boy would have looked like his daddy does in those memories frozen in time. If he would have had the same vibrant red hair and silly sense of humor and loving, patient spirit as he grew tall but still looking up to his dad. I also wonder if he would have liked to wear cowboy boots and camo shorts and ballcaps just like his dad.

These pictures are so precious to me because I feel like they are the only picture I have of what our son could have looked like had God chosen to bless us with him...

We do like to joke sometimes though on what a child with our genetic makeup could potentially be like with the worst of both our traits or silly imperfections to help lessen the pain. But for all we know, we will never know these children we have created only in our hearts. And, we will only be able to hold them in our hearts...

Myth Busting Monday

Myth: We don't know what our options are for bringing a child into our family.


I have had a couple myth busting posts start rattling around in my head again. This one is right up there with the most annoying things someone could say to us. When someone finds out that we are infertile and decides to start listing off all the things we could try. Or lists off these things as questions! "Have you tried _______ ?" "What about ______ ?" "You know you could try _____ ?" Really? I didn't know. We haven't thought about that before and I'm so glad I had that conversation with you since you solved our childless state! Also, it's probably best, unless you know a lot about an IF couple's diagnosis or personal beliefs, to spare yourself the embarrassment of rattling off all the impossible possibilities.

Now I do realize this post has a bit of sarcasm, or a slightly harsh tone to it, but nothing is more upsetting some days to us then being bombarded by these questions and comments like we are some ignorant infertile couple! And I am sure many reading this will have the common sense to not do these things, and we so, so, appreciate that, but I really have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact when someone wants to try and solve our infertility in a 10 minute conversation. We've been dealing with this for years now! We may have just told you for the first time, but I think we have thought of everything you are going to say, so it really is best just to move the conversation on to a different topic if our infertility comes into it :) Or if you ask us how we are doing and we feel like sharing, please don't push. Just listen. And pray for us or even with us. If you have a specific question, ask because you don't know, not because you are pretending you know. And if we feel like sharing we will.

Part 2 of this post is the stories that begin "I knew so and so...". If a story is going to start like that, please don't share. It does nothing to help us feel any better. Especially if you are insinuating that we don't have enough faith, aren't praying hard enough, or we just have to be patient. In fact, we will most likely walk away from the conversation feeling worse than when it started. Please just tell us you will be praying or that you are sorry. If we want to know if you know of any miracle stories, we will ask.

Best

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." ~C. S. Lewis



And painful it was today. Church can be such a comforting place while going through a trial. To be surrounded by fellow believers, singing praises (even if it's hard to find the voice to sing), and being in God's word. But today was not comforting. There were tangible reminders all around us as we tried to focus. Non-stop reminders. Distractions. Announcements. The sermon itself seemed more like we were sitting through a Father's Day sermon. It felt like we were under gunfire with no escape. We are infertile. That is inescapable enough. We don't know if the day will ever come when we will be parents and it hurts. Some days the feeling is stronger than others...We don't know what God's will is right now for us. For our future. For growing or not growing our family...We want the best. We want God's best. But how painful will the best turn out to be?

James 1:12

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Bring the Rain

"...So I pray,
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain..." ~from the Mercy Me song, Bring the Rain

This has been the cry of my heart the past couple of days. This verse just really hit me while I was driving the other day. In spite of hearing it many times before, it brought tears to my eyes as I sang it out as a prayer.

Bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings You glory.

You can listen to the song here if you want.

On a food post roll...Carrot Muffins

As I've mentioned before, spending time in the kitchen is a form of therapy for me, which I am feeling in need of at the moment due to the emotions that go along with dealing with IF some days, weeks... But since I don't have the energy (or the house with A/C on these sweltering summer days to want to turn the oven on much) I am going to talk about some things I made before the heat-wave that I hope you will enjoy as much as I did making them.

Dh and I LOVE Carrot Cake! And I have been experimenting with making cake and bread recipes that we like, into muffins. Muffins I find are nice for portion control and are easy to grab for a snack or for breakfast on the way out the door or enjoy with a cup of coffee (my favorite!).

The recipe I used was in my Betty Crocker Cookbook. The recipe can be found here (I didn't make the cream cheese frosting, however it sounds super yummy). With baking I have learned there are not too many (if any) things you can really change with a recipe or it won't turn out, unlike with cooking you have more room to play. Baking is more of a science. So the only things I have to add is that for muffins this recipe yeilds about 21 muffins. I use liners in my cupcake pans. Bake at 350 degrees F, for about 15-16 minutes, and then you will have yourself one tasty batch of muffins when they come out of the oven :)

Few additional notes on yesterday's Zucchini "Pasta" recipe....

As I was in bed last night, I remembered that I forgot (haha!), to add that I used diced tomatoes in place of peeled plum tomatoes which I usually do in recipes that call for whole because they want you to mash them up most of the time anyways. And I believe I used Italian bread crumbs, no fresh basil (only dried on hand), and I didn't drizzle each plate with the olive oil either (as I'm looking now again at the recipe).

I don't think my changes were critical to the overall taste. You may find there are a few things you want to substitute, add, or even delete (as one reader said yesterday that she has doubled Parmesan before in making Chicken Parmesan due to a gluten-free family member's diet) and that is the beauty of being in YOUR kitchen :P

Cheezy Chicken Parmesan w/Zucchini "Pasta"

Well my garden hasn't been churning out as many zukes as I would like (I have a few theories but the garden will be another post), but I have gotten a few from it which was exciting and a few from both our parent's gardens, which is nice to know we have a back-up plan if my plants bite the dust...But anyways, not too long ago I made this recipe and if your garden (or someone you know's garden) is doing abundantly in the zucchini department, this is a recipe you will definitely want to try. I found it in the cookbook, "Cook Yourself Thin" (page 155) or if you want to print it off here.

It was super yummy and healthy! I will definitely be making this again soon...Here are a few photos and the Reader's Digest version of the recipe:

The "pasta" created using the side of my grater that has the big slots :) I saved the middle of the zukes and ate them in my lunch the next day instead of throwing them out like the recipe says.

The chicken ready to be cooked. I actually put it in the oven instead of cooking it on the stove top to save myself a step and finish prepping my sauce and "pasta".

The sauce, pre-adding the "pasta". You remove this from the pan and put it in a bowl to re-heat later with the cooked zucchini "pasta". Be very careful not to overcook the zucchini like I did. It really should be removed when it is wilted. After it is cooked you return it to the pan with the sauce and some spices and reheat everything together so if you cook it too long in the previous step you will end up with "mushy" zucchini "pasta".

After the sauce is heated and the chicken is done in the oven this is my creation:



Thumbs up from my man :D