Today the author on a website that dh and I have found great encouragement from over the past few years, posted a wonderful list of "things to say/not to say" to those who are hurting that can be applied to many situations, not just those dealing with IF, although that is what came to mind first. We've had several people say that they don't know what to say to us so they don't bring up our IF (pain) but there are many resources out there to help if this is how you feel. There are several situations I can think of that I have been able to be used to encourage, inspite of never experiencing the exact same thing before. Click here to read the list.
I struggle from time to time with posting things here trying to help others to realize what we need because I don't want to seem selfish, as I know everyone has their own struggles, and to be honest, I feel like it's a losing battle sometimes. But I started this blog to serve several purposes and one was helping others learn about what we are going through and how best to support those (not just us) going through IF, and to add to the growing number of voices speaking out about such a taboo subject. And really, many things that are helpful or not helpful for someone dealing with IF grief can be applied to many other forms of grief.
If infertility has taught us anything, it's that we are to "grieve with those who grieve". And what a lesson in grace and mercy it has been for us as well!
And thank you to those who do encourage us and haven't forgotten. It means a lot. One of my fears is that people will think it doesn't hurt anymore and think we are "over it" because it's been a couple years since we found out our devastating news. But there is always a part of us that will be scarred no matter how much time has passed or what our next step is.
I hope that you find the post in reference to be of help to you.
*photo courtesy of my wonderful dh :)
